I usually go to lunch considerably earlier than everyone else so I can claim a spot in the middle of a small table, which usually guarantees that I’ll have the table all to myself, since I despise people watching me eat (I have trouble keeping food in my mouth, and I’m fairly sloppy and unmannerly). Last week, I arrived later than usual because I had to use the restroom, and not a single table was empty. I sat on the floor to eat my burger, but as soon as I was done, I fled to a restroom stall to study my new book on animal intelligence in peace.